We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
