So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
