Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My feet surprised me
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
