i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
