I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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