Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
