my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
