Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
