If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
