And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
