A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize