so that wasnt chicken after all
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
