I'm so fucking centered right now
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
did i walk over a car last night?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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