I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
