My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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