I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Still dying that you shit outside
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
