she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
They are going to name an STD after you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
