I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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