This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
