Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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