8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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