He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
