I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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