She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
