So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
