So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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