you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
