I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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