Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
