Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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