I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
