Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
