I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
