therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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