Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
