Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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