he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
