Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
