she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
