Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My penis needs a shock collar
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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