I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
