Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
