we're blogging at a bar
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
