Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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