Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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