Only a mothe r could love this liver
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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