Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
