I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
