So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
