apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize