It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
