you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
