and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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