so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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