i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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