sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
