YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
