I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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