They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
