Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
