Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
