Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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