You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
