He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
