Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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