She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
