Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
