kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Someone shattered a urinal.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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