question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The Olympian is in my bed
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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