I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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