everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
