why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
