It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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